A peek at what we make
Today’s Bump Day is going to be devoted as a day-after the election special. With so many waiting for the campaigning to end and see if “their guy” won, last night was quite extraordinary.
And we still don’t know who won.
Of course, I am referring to the Minnesota Senate race with Al Franken- former SNL writer. But to me, he will always be Jack Handy. As of the time of writing this, Franken was trailing by about 600 votes. Even if he loses, that’s not too shabby for a comedian. So today I give you my Top 5 “Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy”:
1. It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
2. One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said. “Disneyland burned down.”
He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
3. I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”
4. When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
5. We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
Bonus! If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
I really could have listed another dozen of these, but tried my best to narrow it down to my favorites. By the way, drinking hot coffee while reading through some of these isn’t a good idea. But anyway, good luck to you in the final vote tally, Mr. Handy. From what I’ve seen on C-SPAN, they could use a good dose of your humor infused into the process.